I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
