FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
