Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
