ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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