so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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