so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize