Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
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The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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