i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
