you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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