don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
