I'm gonna have a badass scar
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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