Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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