Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
