You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
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Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
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I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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