come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
