We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
