My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
