i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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