I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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