After last night, I could never be a politician.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
