he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
