Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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