Duck Duck Cougar?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
