got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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