i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
