Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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