Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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