cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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