If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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