woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize