You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
