i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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