idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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