similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
