wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
