I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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