Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
