weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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