So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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