I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
