In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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