My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
