while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
