Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
