But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize