Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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