I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
