I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
