i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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