i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
