Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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