let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
