I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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