It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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