somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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