wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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