I heard we made out
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
