Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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