i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
