Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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